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Friday, April 24, 2015

I Just Want to Be Done with Naps

I'm about to share what might be a wildly unpopular opinion here, but I am so totally and extremely over naps from a convenience and lifestyle perspective that it's not even funny. You're thinking, what the f@#% does that mean? Let me explain.  

Once the nap is in progress, I am completely, 100% pro naps. When my sweet boy has drifted off into the depths of peaceful, uninterrupted sleep and I can spend the next two plus hours doing any combination of things such as taking a shower, calling a friend or sitting outside on the deck enjoying some peace and quiet in the warm sun, naps are amazing. But the pure logistics of naps are what still stress me out even after three years of being a slave to the nap with only one kid. MKPs, I can hear you calling me a whiner right now as you mentally replay the convoluted nightmare that must be putting two or three (or four or five) kids down for a nap at the same time. Relativity.

At this point, now that Dallas is three (and not that it's necessarily about his age), I feel like I am ready to sacrifice the "me time" that comes with nap time for the freedom that is not having to stop all of the day's plans to ensure that these damn naps happen. Add to that all of the motions that one needs to go through before, during and after getting said child(ren) down to sleep. Similar to what I've said about bedtime, it's a lot of f#*^ing steps. Here is a breakdown of the most annoying aspects of the nap time process from my perspective (obviously):

1. Getting your a$$ back home in time for the nap... Chances are, on a Saturday or Sunday morning, you were probably doing something of fun and/or other value on this non-work day. Maybe you were out on shopping errands, or at a playdate, or seeing a Slayer cover band... Whatever it was, when the clock strikes 11am, best believe you'd better be making your way home. Lots to do to prep for this nap business. #messingupmyflow

2. Making the pre-nap meal (at the correct pre-nap time)... Yep, baby needs lunch. Now, this is where you can cheat the process a bit if you time it out right. We've all found ourselves out and about, skipping around all fun and carefree on a Saturday morning, then looked at the clock and said, "Sh*t! It's almost nap time. What am I going to feed [insert your small person's name here]". If you are in a place with appropriate child sustenance options, you can often get to that Panera, have them scoop some mac 'n' cheese into a bowl, ensure your child shoves down anywhere from five to twenty bites, wipe up, strap in and barrel home in time to get him or her down. Maybe YOU eat a sandwich...maybe you don't. Oh and make sure your little one doesn't fall asleep too hard before you get home. Unless you enjoy spending nap time sitting in your driveway. If you planned to make lunch, best be home before noon to get that Annie's water boiling or preheat the oven for Mr. Praegers' various frozen wonders, or you might as well have eaten out. And honestly, when I was childless (which makes what I'm about to say totally irrelevant), I never "made" lunch on the regular, and it's getting old. You either buy lunch during the week at work, or you eat leftover dinner or you just don't eat lunch. #cookinglunchisnotathing 

3. Any type of sleep brings resistance... No kid really wants to sleep. We know this. So when my son puts up a stink at nap time, what I want to say to him instead of, "Hey Beans (my little nickname), I know you don't want to sleep, but everybody needs a nap to feel fresh for the rest of the day! So let's go take a snooze." is "Yeah, naps are lame and I say we just bust outta here and hit the park!" or Target, his other favorite place. Let's call these responses option 1 and option 2. Now, when your kid is fourteen months old, option two would be an irresponsible and selfish choice. Babies need naps, fo sho. Growth and development, blah blah blah. I have always done the rigorous schedule thing. I've been a slave to the nap schedule and am reaping the rewards of having a fantastic napper and night sleeper. Dallas always knows what to expect because I stay consistent. Just know, though, that the minute he makes going down for the nap too hard and the stink becomes too much, we will leave naps in the effing dust and never look back. #sleepisfortheweak

4. After the nap, you're kind of stuck... Don't even try to make afternoon plans. Because the day that you do, your child will take a four-hour nap. And even if it ends up being a nap of normal length, is it really worth getting somewhere by 4pm only to turn around and leave so that you can get back home in time for dinner? Again, as wedded as I am to the schedule of my small person, for me that's a hard no. Instead, let's get our shoes on and get out into that gigantic backyard of ours where you can play t-ball, run around with the dog and swing and slide on the playscape we bought two years ago that is now far too small for you. #notspendingmylifesavingsonaswingset #itscalledthepark

Look, naps keep away the grouchies and keep these kiddos rested. There's no doubt about their overall value to a child's health and well-being. That doesn't mean they aren't also a huge pain in the a$$ at a certain point. I'll continue to demand them as long as Dallas seems to absolutely need them, but trust and believe that I am on a serious hunt for a nap exit strategy.

Is this just me? What's your stance on naps? Necessary evil that you can't wait to kick to the curb or glorious facilitator of "me time" that they'll have to pry out of your cold dead hands? 

Stay sane and well-rested!
-Regan

20 comments:

  1. I'm not a mother, but I totally get what you're talking about! Right now it seems like my sister has to plan her entire day around my niece's afternoon nap!

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  2. Ash and Crafts, haha! I can see how the nap situation could be extremely frustrating for the non-parent who's just trying to hang out! Not sure how old your niece is, but I hope it gets easier soon!

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  3. Ash and Crafts, haha! I can see how the nap situation could be extremely frustrating for the non-parent who's just trying to hang out! Not sure how old your niece is, but I hope it gets easier soon!

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  4. Flying by via the Blogging Mamas ‪#‎FollowBackFriday‬ Happy Hour!

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  5. This is hilarious but true. Thanks for your honesty.

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  6. This is hilarious but true. Thanks for your honesty.

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  7. They're both! It's hard to divide the day into "pre nap" and "post nap."

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  8. Samantha - Haha...Glad you enjoyed it! We have to be up front with this whole motherhood thing. :) Hope you'll keep reading!

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  9. Jenny - Exactly!!! Ain't nobody got time for that. I just need the whole day, without interruptions. Another reason why I'm "one and done"...:)

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  10. naps cause so much trouble and they do not fit in with the school run. Little man is mainly over them now but the tantrums caused because he had fallen asleep at 2.55 and we needed to pick his brothers up at 3.15 were horrendous x

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  11. Oh i wish my children would actually nap i have an almost two year old who does not nap at all any more and a 8 month old who has half an hour if i am lucky. x

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  12. I do love naptimes purely from a selfish point of view but I totally get what you're saying!! Having to factor in naptime if we're out and about, or even trying to get him to sleep if we're home. If we're in the car its easy but at home, not so simple! #sharewithme

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  13. Louise - I can only imagine the drama naps cause in that situation. Any scenario that requires planning around more than one child totally freaks me out. I salute you! :) #oneanddone

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  14. newcastle familylife - Ah yes...not napping also presents its share of problems. Especially when they are so young. Stay strong!

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  15. Oh Regan your style of writing is sooo funny. I don't yet have my own kids, but as long as I was working in a day care I totally get your point. It is sometimes hard to stay close to schedule and to stay sane

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  16. I completely understand your point of view. It hard some days. I'm glad maps are done for us.

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  17. Oh, naps. My favorite is when you *think* they are sleeping, but they're really destroying property. My second favorite is when they wet the bed in the middle of the day, while you're doing laundry - Lindsay w/ justthiscrazy.com

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  18. I am all about the naps as I work from home and that's when I get everything done with my two toddlers napping. But B starts school in September and I had to cut his nap this week out so he can get used to going all day without one. It's hard as I really loved him rested and happy in the afternoons and its' been a tough week without them especially keeping quiet while his sister still has them. But when both naps go for both of them it will free us up to be out of the house all day and out and about more. So it's a win win on dropping them and having them I think. Thanks for linking up to Share With Me #sharewithme

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  19. I get you - I hate having to plan everything around her naps, but then at the same time, I appreciate 3 hours I get for 'me time', or work in my case.

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