Let's Connect and Share!

Friday, December 19, 2014

The Great Christmas Card Fail of 2014

So, I didn't get around to sending a f%*#ing Christmas card this year.  I don't know what happened.  

You see, I'm usually pretty organized about this stuff.  Right after Thanksgiving I start researching cards, conducting my price analysis of the various card websites, gathering/taking the appropriate photos and have a Christmas card formatted and ordered by the first week of December.  So, when I actually stopped to look at a calendar this year and realized that it was already December 12th, I felt a streak of panic run through me like ice cold water in my veins.  And simultaneously, all of these tiny, and highly annoying, judgments started to creep into my brain.  You know, the ones that poke their way in when you start imagining what people are going to say about you.  You and your non-Christmas-card-sending existence.  Fun stuff like...

"Um, how is she going to send a Christmas card last year and not follow up with one this year?  That totally breaks the continuity of family holiday cards!  I mean, how are people going to effectively chronicle Dallas's life through Christmas pictures NOW?..." Mildly dramatic, but arguably accurate.

"Wow, no Christmas card?  Regan clearly doesn't have her sh^% together.  She must really be drowning with all of this working mommy stuff.  So much for being able to 'do it all'..." Smug, self-satisfied and douchy, but also somewhat accurate.

"She has one kid.  How hard could it be to organize a family photo with three people? Lame."  Actually, I was just going to put Dallas on it, so...

"Pffff... We sent them a Christmas card and they didn't even have the courtesy to send us one?  What, did we not make their list this year?!  I told you she's an a%#hole."  Best actor nominee for Most Angry Response to Not Receiving a Holiday Card.

Wow, those got progressively mean...  

As my anxiety increased, I started to quickly rifle through my options given the date and our available funds.  I could...1) Hop on one of those card sites STAT, rustle up some cute pictures of Dallas, drag/drop/order, pay for standard shipping and pray to Rudolph that those suckers get here in time for me to then address them and get them out in the mail in time to arrive anytime before December 26th.  2)  Do all of that option 1 stuff, but instead pay, oh you know...something like a gazillion dollars for express shipping on $10 cards. 

That particular morning, those were as many options as I had time to think through, and so I spent roughly the next two days deciding which of those I wanted to do.  I know...not the best use of time when time is, in fact, the thing you're working against.  Sometimes I have trouble being decisive - I'll start working through that once I get time to go to therapy.  Also, perhaps, in 2050.

And so, as I continued to hem and haw my way through the holiday card decision, I realized that a third option actually did exist.  I could...GASP...just NOT send out a card this year. I could just NOT furiously scramble through a thousand photos to find two where Dallas isn't either smowning (remember smirk/frowns?) or blurry.  I could just NOT spend an hour comparing design, pricing and coupon codes between ten different websites.  I could just NOT spend another 30 minutes to 4 hours perfectly formatting the painstakingly selected card and, invariably, change my mind on the design five more times.  I could just NOT spend anywhere from $20 to $60 on cards, and then $30 more on postage - all money that I would rather put towards actual Christmas gifts that don't eventually get thrown in the trash.  And, finally, I could just NOT spend the next two nights addressing and stamping 50 Christmas cards.  Upon this epiphany, I looked in the mirror and said, out loud, "I literally can't even".  

So that's it.  Decision made.  And hey, it's a pretty freeing feeling.  Would I have sent a card if all had happened on schedule?  Of course.  I actually really love doing all of those "could just NOT" things above, knowing that so many of our friends and family are doing them too.  And when we receive all of your adorable and creative holiday cards, it's fun to imagine you opening ours and thinking how adorable and creative we were as well.  Just so you know, I lovingly place them all high up on my special kitchen shelf to admire until it's finally time to take them down...usually some time in March when "Season's Greetings" and "Happy Holidays" are starting to feel just a bit too "Winter".  Like I said, it's a high shelf.  

The moral of this story, at the risk of being presumptuous, is:  To all of the usual Christmas card suspects, please don't be confused when you don't receive a card from the Campbells this year.  I promise that we will get it together for Christmas 2015.  Just know that we are wishing every single one of you reading this the very happiest of holidays!  

Stay sane (or happily inebriated) through your Holidays!

P.S.  What's your Holiday card status?  Comment below!  Don't make me endure the shame all by myself.  Here's what I came up with in a pinch...  Shout out to Pic Collage!


  1. You have captured my thoughts on Christmas cards beautifully!! Although yours contains a lot fewer explatives than my inner monologue...You won't be recieving a card from the Ballards this year, but please know we still wish you (and everyone!) a very merry Christmas! Maybe next year we'll make it to your high shelf. Xoxo

  2. Meg Pants! I'm glad that we are in the same boat. :) We will get back on track in 2015! Maybe!